Note to Self..

Photos by Jake

"You're not the kind of girl who settles. Keep not settling.." 

-Joy Wilson

Overalls | Shirt = Divi

Boots = Thrifted

In an Alternate Universe..

Photos by Jake

I consider my blog as my Alter Ego. This is my little corner wherein I'm allowed to be at my bravest, or at my utmost cowardice. Here, I'm allowed to put into words a whole lot of things that seem utterly impalpable. Here, I can be a superhero, or a damsel in distress..

Chambray Shirt | Boots = Thrifted

Skater Skirt = Online Shop

Necklace | Leather Band = SM Dept. Store

Carrying On..

Photos by Jake

Jumper - Landmark

Shirt - Baclaran

Sneakers - SM Dept. Store

The 20 something path may be far from what I pictured it to be. Albeit all the spanking & beating my tiny self have gotten along the way, the battle scars will always prove that I never go down without a fight. Never have, never will. But for today, I will set my big girl worries aside; put my dungarees on & continue walking. And just giggle with giddy, childlike wonder..

An Ode to My Hat

Photos by Jake

It had been a fun day, til I realized that I lost you..

(never again will I trust myself in carrying hats. Must always wear it. SMH.)

Bowler Hat/Sneakers/Necklace = SM Dept. Store

Shirt/Polo = Baclaran

Jeans = Thrifted

Current Eargasms

DISCLAIMER: these are songs that I currently listen to. Not necessarily new, chart topping, or some might not even interest you at all. I might have discovered them recently or unearthed from the depths of my playlist.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be a music authority of some kind. These are what I'm currently LSSing, so, no, these are not the hippest, sickest beats. Just wanted to share the tunes that put the 'gasm' to my ears in the hopes of imparting something groovy (or not really?). So sit back, relax, and feel free to rape the repeat button. *wink*

1. Open Your Eyes - John Legend

2. Best Day of My Life - American Authors

3. Super Duper Love - Joss Stone

4. Bad - David Guetta feat. Vassy



5. Shot Me Down - David Guetta feat. Skylar Grey



6. Game of Thrones (Cover) - MetroGnome



7. Blank Space - Taylor Swift



8. Am I Wrong - Nico & Vinz



9. Forest Whitaker (Acoustic) - Bad Books



10. I Will Survive - Chantay Savage

Overhaul

Top = thrifted

High waist shorts = Landmark

Booties = Parisian

Back when I started working, I had a workmate who was a Psych graduate. During our free time, we took a lot of personality tests (which I still enjoy taking up until now, BTW) and afterwards, she would translate & explain the results to us. On one of the tests, she told me that I was some kind of OC, or something to that effect. Back then, I didn't full understand what the tendencies were. They just told me that OC people are the epitome(s?) of being organized. I told my mum about it, and without batting an eyelash, she said that it was very unlikely. It seemed that being organized was a word omitted from my vocabulary.

Over the years, when I've managed to get to know my self more, I realized that my former colleague had been right all along. I, indeed have an inclination to OCD. Though mum had been right that I am not the most organized (pertaining to the stuff inside my closet & my underwear drawers), it dawned on me that this is the case when my state of mind is in utter disorder, too. 

It led me to the conclusion that my closet (my stuff in general, actually) is a mirror of my thoughts. And right now, both my closet literally & (mental) figuratively are in dire need of an overhaul..

Life in Squared Photos

Life lately meant a lot of pictures (I'm doing the #100HappyDays challenge!), well include (a lot of) selfies on that. Catching up on reading (I have several new paperbacks, & started reading GoT on PDFs!). And discovering more & more places to eat.

Instagram: @kaishizzle

Day by day..

Photos by Erika

Vest: Thrifted

Jeans & Shades: SM Department Store

Pumps: Mario D' Boro
Fedora: Borrowed

My heels alternately click & clack as I parade through my daily life. There are days when I feel strong & tough; when I feel well-armed with experience & all that. While there are some days that I feel under the weather; and sometimes there's this need to fill a misplaced gaping hole. Sometimes it goes out of hand.

Then suddenly, something jolts from oblivion. Shooting a message in invisible sticky notes. It took me aback that I'd have to pause.

I guess these millisecond life halts are healthy. It gives you the perfect time to breathe; or just blink.

I snap out of my zoned-out state, and I catch myself smiling. It dawned on me that no matter how crazy things get, eventually, it will just all turn out as wonderful. I guess we will never have everything figured out. No one probably ever will. There will always be episodes of going off course: stupid decisions, shallow tears, wrong turns, embarrassing moments - but there will be lots of epic moments too: family time, travelling to a new place, laughing boisterously with friends, a clearance sale at Forever 21.. the list will go on & on.

I continue to tread through my daily life. I think my feet need a time off of the height of my heels. I put my boots on & tell myself that how ever this day might go, it will boil down to one thing: Life is insanely beautiful.. <3 p="">

Living Life - Sweet Brown Style

Photos by Nyok

Cropped top: Edsa Central Bazaar

High-Waisted Shorts: Landmark

Fedora: Forever 21

Flats: Parisian

Specs: SM Department Store

Toxic people. Bitterness. Insecurities. Worrying. Settling..

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh7UgAprdpM)

The Half'a year that has been..

January - Ilocos

February - Mount Romelo

March - Boracay

April - Bolinao

May - Sibale

June - Laguna

This year has been good, if not the best. And cliche as it may seem, time does really fly by fast, when you're having fun. I guess I am, cuz it seems that everything was a blur. I'm having the greatest time of my life, and all I can think of saying now is thank you, thank you, thank you.. <3 p="">

@TheSingleWoman

Photos by Jerry

Vest, Tutu, Boots = thrifted

Bag = Parisian

"And the elusive One That Got Away? She has days when she still can't cut the strings.

She has moments of panic when she wonders if her Prince Charming got lost somewhere or decided to settle for another less complicated, less stubborn, less independent princess. Sometimes, she doesn't know where she's going until she gets there..

She hasn't got it all figured it out. Far from it, in fact..

But she loves God & she loves to dance, and she's her own better half. 

The bravest woman I know? She is the reason I do what I do. She's The Single Woman.

She's me, and she's You.."

(excerpt from The Single Woman, Mandy Hale)

#ThrowbackThursday - This is based on a (Not So) True Story - Version 1.2

vest = DIY
jeans = Wrangler
boots = thrifted

Today is the day. She is smiling triumphantly because she is already floating amidst the calm sea. She almost drowned, though. From her own tears, that is. She surpassed the crazy storm of emotions that struck her the past couple of days. Emotionally exhausting that was, but none of it matters to her anymore.

She was ready to end the day, but fate decided to tweak the plot just one last time.

It was another familiar setting: blasting sounds from the karaoke machine; the stench of alcohol; the reek of cigarettes ensuing clouds that hovered lazily. She takes a short trip down memory lane. It was quick, but the memories were clear, too clear. He's yet to arrive, but the glimpses of the past beat him there. She blinked them away. She was still sure she will get through this with her head held up high.

Then everything was a blur. The next thing they knew, they were lost in their own world. In between puffs of smoke & the gulps of beer, they talked. About a lot. Probably to make up for the time lost, even though it wasn't really meant for them. He said a lot. A whole lot. After their little exchange of goodbyes over email, she never expected another episode of drama. Her tear ducts are still too sore from last session's overuse. Much to her surprise, he intrepidly admitted his faults, shortcomings, whatever it is that he could never, ever give her. She was flabbergasted as he unveiled a good portion of his emotions this time. She has tried oh-so-hard to undress him of his inhibitions from before, but now, he's stripping, almost bare.

The deep sighs, the endless sobs.. But no matter how much they cry, the fact that "it just can't be" still remains. No, not in this lifetime. The talk has turned into blubber now. Of apologies, and of thanks, for being part of each other's lives.

And the promise.

The promise that in the next life, it would be their turn. They would then be together. No more shitty ordeals, they will simply be together.

She woke up with puffy eyes & a heavy head. With vivid memories in tow, she faced the day smiling. Smiling the way she did before she was supposed to end the day. She was able to prove to herself that it was true. What they had was true. And for once in her life, she was given the closure that she needed..

#ThrowbackThursday - This is Based on a (Not So) True Story

She has come into terms with acceptance. Just like him, she has managed to get on with her life; yet they kept the thin thread of friendship that bound them. The informal farewell has sent her to Cryingville once again, but not him. He was quite touched with the little exchange of drama over emails. Touched, but not moved. Then again, they went on with their lives, still bound with that thin, thin thread. 

The countdown to the day of going away didn't really hurt her that bad. In fact, she felt free after her crying spree. A lot of suppressed emotional baggage were unpacked during that session. It felt good, alright. To the point that she was ready. Ready enough to face the days to come of knowing he's out of her life for good. 

With a smile on her face, she was strolling amidst the holiday-emptied streets. Yes, she is ready. It felt so real at that moment. That moment when goodbye didn't sting anymore.

(Or so she thought.)

TO BE CONTINUED..

2014 Checklist

I've been meaning to write a more detailed & reflective post for the year that was, however, due to an unfortunate incident (my phone got snatched on New Year's day), I've failed to so. It's sad to admit that I haven't done a lot of things that most people my age have already accomplished. So for this day, I'm saying no to creating any "resolutions" (I don't stick to it anyways), but just a checklist of things that I haven't done/don't normally do, yet seems like fun. Are you all with me? Here it goes:

Movietime
I haven't been to the cinemas for God knows how long. Not that I don't enjoy watching movies, but, I don't know, it always seems like I can't find the time. So for this year, I'll make it a point to take myself out on a movie date at least once a month. The thought of going to the movies alone is somewhat scary, but what the heck, I'm a big girl now.

Plants Vs. Zombies
I'm the zombie, and the plants, ok the veggies, are my enemies. TRIVIA: I do not eat veggies. At all (well, except for potatoes. Do those count?). Name it, I don't I don't eat it. So I'm going to (try?) start eating some. I should try out one new veggie at least once a month. Please pray for me.

Alone time
I want to go out of town all by myself. Eat, pray, love-ish, eh? Unlike watching the movies alone, this is waaaaay scarier. The busy streets of the city has been my home for like, well, forever, but for me, it's healthy to spend some time away from all of the hustle & bustle. And it's another chance to get in touch with my inner self, with a thrilling, liberating experience in tow. Do you have suggestions on what good places to go? :)

Happiness in a Jar
No, it's not Nutella. Got this idea from a Tumblr post, wherein you just write every happy thing that has happened to you & placing all of them in a jar (in my case, I used a box). Then you can open it up the following year to reminisce. Now ain't that a fun way to stroll down memory lane? :)

Sweat it out
I work in the BPO industry, and as many of you are well-aware, we don't have the healthiest of lifestyles. Even though I'm skinny (READ: REALLY skinny), & don't have to lose weight (MUST. GAIN.), I really feel the need to exercise, and sweat it all out. So me & some of my girlies will be running, starting it once a week, then pick up our pace from there. Afterwards, enroll to hiphop classes & yoga.

Visita Iglesia
I've never been the religious type. I'm more of spiritual than religious. However, churches exude this air of calmness & serenity. It's a place to find solitude even though you're alongside a few hundred people. Plus, what other places have more history & jaw-dropping architecture other than churches, huh?

It's the climb
I've never been the athletic type. I do not have any strenuous activities to my name, but I've always been in awe with Mother Nature, so I'm planning to climb a mountain. I'm a worshipper of the sun & have always felt that I belong to the beach (even though I don't know how to swim). This year, I want to witness Mother Nature's magnificence with a view from the top.


So that's all of my items for now. I'm really, really excited (and determined!) to scratch things off of my bucket list. I'm ever decided to make this year a very colorful (if not the most) one. How about you, are you going to do exciting things this year, too? Do tell me!! :)

2013 in a (not so) few words..

365 days have passed by yet again. As I look back, there have been a series of the good, the bad, & the ugly. It brought about a lot of change, yet there are many things that somehow stayed the same.

Gratitude plays one of the major roles in my 2013. I was able to reconnect to people that I was thisclose to losing: (some of) my friends, my family, myself. I'm happy to have found my way through the labyrinth of my crazy mind & out to the open, enlightened & full of positivity.

More importantly, rediscovering my self-worth was the highlight. Closure has paved the way. I'm glad that I've been able to reach this state in my own accord. Not due to anything or anyone, but with self-willingness alone. The heaviest baggage has been lifted off my boat, so now, I sail ever smoothly..

At some point, you have to grow up..

You know you're getting old when you're not really a fan of the office girl get ups, and yet you'd have to dress up like one..


Aztec Blazer = Landmark
Bandage Skirt = Divi
Pumps = SM Dept. Store