#ThrowbackThursday - This is based on a (Not So) True Story - Version 1.2

vest = DIY
jeans = Wrangler
boots = thrifted

Today is the day. She is smiling triumphantly because she is already floating amidst the calm sea. She almost drowned, though. From her own tears, that is. She surpassed the crazy storm of emotions that struck her the past couple of days. Emotionally exhausting that was, but none of it matters to her anymore.

She was ready to end the day, but fate decided to tweak the plot just one last time.

It was another familiar setting: blasting sounds from the karaoke machine; the stench of alcohol; the reek of cigarettes ensuing clouds that hovered lazily. She takes a short trip down memory lane. It was quick, but the memories were clear, too clear. He's yet to arrive, but the glimpses of the past beat him there. She blinked them away. She was still sure she will get through this with her head held up high.

Then everything was a blur. The next thing they knew, they were lost in their own world. In between puffs of smoke & the gulps of beer, they talked. About a lot. Probably to make up for the time lost, even though it wasn't really meant for them. He said a lot. A whole lot. After their little exchange of goodbyes over email, she never expected another episode of drama. Her tear ducts are still too sore from last session's overuse. Much to her surprise, he intrepidly admitted his faults, shortcomings, whatever it is that he could never, ever give her. She was flabbergasted as he unveiled a good portion of his emotions this time. She has tried oh-so-hard to undress him of his inhibitions from before, but now, he's stripping, almost bare.

The deep sighs, the endless sobs.. But no matter how much they cry, the fact that "it just can't be" still remains. No, not in this lifetime. The talk has turned into blubber now. Of apologies, and of thanks, for being part of each other's lives.

And the promise.

The promise that in the next life, it would be their turn. They would then be together. No more shitty ordeals, they will simply be together.

She woke up with puffy eyes & a heavy head. With vivid memories in tow, she faced the day smiling. Smiling the way she did before she was supposed to end the day. She was able to prove to herself that it was true. What they had was true. And for once in her life, she was given the closure that she needed..

#ThrowbackThursday - You + Me = The Worst Case of Not Meant to Be

Original post here

Faring in life slowly this time. Missing the excitement of the extreme lifestyle, but not giving in to temptation. The urge isn't that hard to contain anymore. You've learned your lesson. It feels different to savor the moments. Entirely different. 

Just chilling, and living by the so-so days. Everything's quite good, and then BAM! You heard something from him. Double BAM! He's leaving BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.

It felt sad, alright. But after giving it some time to sink in; to let your mind devour on each & every word, something began to creep all over you. All the hair in your entire body stood at its end. That heart-crushing feeling.. so familiar. Then the warm liquid is welling up in your eyes.. More familiar. Then it starts rolling down one. by. one. In alternating, gushing streaks. Now that's it, here we go again.

It's really not because of the hopes of getting back together. That thought has already been locked up in one of the attics of your cerebellum. There weren't really any hopes to begin with.. because that, THAT hope, it was the one that screwed you up mentally & emotionally in the first place, so it's a big NO-NO. It's just because this 'leaving' thing? It's a dead-end. The casual HIs & goodbyes, the occasional chit-chat, all those petty things.. The thin-thin thread that held you two together, soon all gone. Into oblivion.

It's for the best, they all say. And you convince yourself of that, too. But there's just no calming down the tears. They're on a roll now. You just close your eyes & think that maybe, just maybe.. In the next life, the stars will be a little more kind, and then, your souls will intertwine.