Faring in life slowly this time. Missing the excitement of the extreme lifestyle, but not giving in to temptation. The urge isn't that hard to contain anymore. You've learned your lesson. It feels different to savor the moments. Entirely different.
Just chilling, and living by the so-so days. Everything's quite good, and then BAM! You heard something from him. Double BAM! He's leaving BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.
It felt sad, alright. But after giving it some time to sink in; to let your mind devour on each & every word, something began to creep all over you. All the hair in your entire body stood at its end. That heart-crushing feeling.. so familiar. Then the warm liquid is welling up in your eyes.. More familiar. Then it starts rolling down one. by. one. In alternating, gushing streaks. Now that's it, here we go again.
It's really not because of the hopes of getting back together. That thought has already been locked up in one of the attics of your cerebellum. There weren't really any hopes to begin with.. because that, THAT hope, it was the one that screwed you up mentally & emotionally in the first place, so it's a big NO-NO. It's just because this 'leaving' thing? It's a dead-end. The casual HIs & goodbyes, the occasional chit-chat, all those petty things.. The thin-thin thread that held you two together, soon all gone. Into oblivion.
It's for the best, they all say. And you convince yourself of that, too. But there's just no calming down the tears. They're on a roll now. You just close your eyes & think that maybe, just maybe.. In the next life, the stars will be a little more kind, and then, your souls will intertwine.
It's way past your bedtime but your head just won't stop wandering. Why do your thoughts keep running around like a bunch of unbridled horses? I know, I know. You're all excited about the surge of inspiration, the outpour of creative juices, but please, hush a little, and keep it on the low-low. C'mon, let's both agree to walk at a steady pace. Yes, that's right. Let's start from the first gear before we thrust into full throttle. You see, it's better that way. It'll definitely help us focus on the path we want to head on, and if anything comes up, we'll get past over it. I'd hate for you to come crashing to the ground once again. You know, all bruised up with the scratches, just like before? Good. I thought you'd agree. Let's maintain this, shall we? Let's chug every moment piece by piece. Let's savor it. Let's devour on how fabulous life can be, because it is. Life is how make it, self. And this time, we'll make the most out of it. We'll start writing about our best-est chapters ever.
I've been meaning to write a more detailed & reflective post for the year that was, however, due to an unfortunate incident (my phone got snatched on New Year's day), I've failed to so. It's sad to admit that I haven't done a lot of things that most people my age have already accomplished. So for this day, I'm saying no to creating any "resolutions" (I don't stick to it anyways), but just a checklist of things that I haven't done/don't normally do, yet seems like fun. Are you all with me? Here it goes:
I haven't been to the cinemas for God knows how long. Not that I don't enjoy watching movies, but, I don't know, it always seems like I can't find the time. So for this year, I'll make it a point to take myself out on a movie date at least once a month. The thought of going to the movies alone is somewhat scary, but what the heck, I'm a big girl now.
Plants Vs. Zombies
I'm the zombie, and the plants, ok the veggies, are my enemies. TRIVIA: I do not eat veggies. At all (well, except for potatoes. Do those count?). Name it, I don't I don't eat it. So I'm going to (try?) start eating some. I should try out one new veggie at least once a month. Please pray for me.
I want to go out of town all by myself. Eat, pray, love-ish, eh? Unlike watching the movies alone, this is waaaaay scarier. The busy streets of the city has been my home for like, well, forever, but for me, it's healthy to spend some time away from all of the hustle & bustle. And it's another chance to get in touch with my inner self, with a thrilling, liberating experience in tow. Do you have suggestions on what good places to go? :)
Happiness in a Jar
No, it's not Nutella. Got this idea from a Tumblr post, wherein you just write every happy thing that has happened to you & placing all of them in a jar (in my case, I used a box). Then you can open it up the following year to reminisce. Now ain't that a fun way to stroll down memory lane? :)
Sweat it out
I work in the BPO industry, and as many of you are well-aware, we don't have the healthiest of lifestyles. Even though I'm skinny (READ: REALLY skinny), & don't have to lose weight (MUST. GAIN.), I really feel the need to exercise, and sweat it all out. So me & some of my girlies will be running, starting it once a week, then pick up our pace from there. Afterwards, enroll to hiphop classes & yoga.
I've never been the religious type. I'm more of spiritual than religious. However, churches exude this air of calmness & serenity. It's a place to find solitude even though you're alongside a few hundred people. Plus, what other places have more history & jaw-dropping architecture other than churches, huh?
It's the climb
I've never been the athletic type. I do not have any strenuous activities to my name, but I've always been in awe with Mother Nature, so I'm planning to climb a mountain. I'm a worshipper of the sun & have always felt that I belong to the beach (even though I don't know how to swim). This year, I want to witness Mother Nature's magnificence with a view from the top.
So that's all of my items for now. I'm really, really excited (and determined!) to scratch things off of my bucket list. I'm ever decided to make this year a very colorful (if not the most) one. How about you, are you going to do exciting things this year, too? Do tell me!! :)
365 days have passed by yet again. As I look back, there have been a series of the good, the bad, & the ugly. It brought about a lot of change, yet there are many things that somehow stayed the same.
Gratitude plays one of the major roles in my 2013. I was able to reconnect to people that I was thisclose to losing: (some of) my friends, my family, myself. I'm happy to have found my way through the labyrinth of my crazy mind & out to the open, enlightened & full of positivity.
More importantly, rediscovering my self-worth was the highlight. Closure has paved the way. I'm glad that I've been able to reach this state in my own accord. Not due to anything or anyone, but with self-willingness alone. The heaviest baggage has been lifted off my boat, so now, I sail ever smoothly..