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Faring in life slowly this time. Missing the excitement of the extreme lifestyle, but not giving in to temptation. The urge isn't that hard to contain anymore. You've learned your lesson. It feels different to savor the moments. Entirely different.
Just chilling, and living by the so-so days. Everything's quite good, and then BAM! You heard something from him. Double BAM! He's leaving BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.
It felt sad, alright. But after giving it some time to sink in; to let your mind devour on each & every word, something began to creep all over you. All the hair in your entire body stood at its end. That heart-crushing feeling.. so familiar. Then the warm liquid is welling up in your eyes.. More familiar. Then it starts rolling down one. by. one. In alternating, gushing streaks. Now that's it, here we go again.
It's really not because of the hopes of getting back together. That thought has already been locked up in one of the attics of your cerebellum. There weren't really any hopes to begin with.. because that, THAT hope, it was the one that screwed you up mentally & emotionally in the first place, so it's a big NO-NO. It's just because this 'leaving' thing? It's a dead-end. The casual HIs & goodbyes, the occasional chit-chat, all those petty things.. The thin-thin thread that held you two together, soon all gone. Into oblivion.
It's for the best, they all say. And you convince yourself of that, too. But there's just no calming down the tears. They're on a roll now. You just close your eyes & think that maybe, just maybe.. In the next life, the stars will be a little more kind, and then, your souls will intertwine.