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Faring in life slowly this time. Missing the excitement of the extreme lifestyle, but not giving in to temptation. The urge isn't that hard to contain anymore. You've learned your lesson. It feels different to savor the moments. Entirely different.
Just chilling, and living by the so-so days. Everything's quite good, and then BAM! You heard something from him. Double BAM! He's leaving BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.
It felt sad, alright. But after giving it some time to sink in; to let your mind devour on each & every word, something began to creep all over you. All the hair in your entire body stood at its end. That heart-crushing feeling.. so familiar. Then the warm liquid is welling up in your eyes.. More familiar. Then it starts rolling down one. by. one. In alternating, gushing streaks. Now that's it, here we go again.
It's really not because of the hopes of getting back together. That thought has already been locked up in one of the attics of your cerebellum. There weren't really any hopes to begin with.. because that, THAT hope, it was the one that screwed you up mentally & emotionally in the first place, so it's a big NO-NO. It's just because this 'leaving' thing? It's a dead-end. The casual HIs & goodbyes, the occasional chit-chat, all those petty things.. The thin-thin thread that held you two together, soon all gone. Into oblivion.
It's for the best, they all say. And you convince yourself of that, too. But there's just no calming down the tears. They're on a roll now. You just close your eyes & think that maybe, just maybe.. In the next life, the stars will be a little more kind, and then, your souls will intertwine.
I like how you wrote this post, sis. :) Everyone has gone through that stage I believe and it's important to be calm - (Yeah right, it's impossible) but try not to act hasty would be a better option whenever in this type of scenario. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, sis. Yes, good thing I did not follow any impulses during this situation in the past. Oh well, what' important is that we learn from every situation :)
DeleteYes let us hope that the stars will be a little more kind tomorrow! Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Vanessa! :)
DeleteLife is a mixture of sadness and happiness so don't worry after the down time there is a coming to lift your days again :)
ReplyDeleteSomeone more special is waiting to meet you :)
Aww. Thank you so much, Kaarunya. Yes, you're right. Just keep the faith :)
ReplyDelete:) :) :)
Deleteevery little thing happens for a reason... we may not see the significance of the bad things that happen to us... but later on, we'll realize the meaning... allow yourself to be sad... but don't wallow in it... cheer up!
ReplyDeleteAwww... I thought I can relate as this somewhat happened to me and my boyfriend before. Yup I also believe that the stars will align for us and everything will be alright in due time.
ReplyDeleteHi Kai,some things are just not meant to last. We just have to learn that there is something far more greater that is set for us.Cheer up. Soon,you will be dancing the night away and hope for greater things to happen:)
ReplyDeleteI guess there are times that we go through excitement time and at times we need to slow down. It's those time that we appreciate more of what we've been through.
ReplyDeletethis reminds me of a distant past with a boy, whom I thought was the one as well. although in my case i've stopped the "what ifs" since I totally wanted to forget him. haha. but this is very true and i like how you said "In the next life, the stars will be a little more kind, and then, your souls will intertwine" :) It's a one liner that really explains it all how it feels when you're wishing for something you know can never be anymore :(
ReplyDeleteI've been through this so, so, so many times and I thought I'd never get over him, but as time went on I found that I was glad for the experience, but grateful that it didn't work out. It may hurt now, it's okay to cry, it's okay to be hurt, but this, too shall pass.
ReplyDelete